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The Secret Files* of Maxwell Smart
*by which I mean "files he accidentally set on fire and then forgot about because he got distracted by something shiny"

image courtesy of

Final Update: The final update consists of this sentence, which I have inserted here in order to confirm that I will never update this website again. I am far too lazy. I am also too lazy to answer questions, unless your question is "to whom should I make out this enormous certified check?" I will also answer questions about how I became so fascinating and attractive.

The Smarten Reading Room Articles and interviews from the last two decades, plus TV Guide pieces dating back to the '60s.


Infrequently Asked Questions Mysteries of Get Smart SOLVED! Not that anybody was asking.

Bridge, Don Adams, and a Story About Playing Bridge with Don Adams (source unknown)


The Cone of Silence This page is totally worth visiting if you think that it might be November 2001 again.

Links CONTROL outposts worldwide.

2001 updates:
June 12: All occurrences of "Ray Stevens" have been replaced with "the Hollywood Argyles." Video links have been updated also.
April 27: Transcripts are now complete, thanks to Alert Viewers Andrew and Kristina. Did you miss me? Did you miss me? I missed you.

Coming soon:
A well-deserved nap. Office Space in Bangalore

contact me or sign the guestbook or view the guestbook or view the old guestbook

00088724: "Well, it's not going to be a secret for long if you keep yelling about it like that."